Tips On Being A Better Listener


Kynslee White


Have you ever been in a conversation and you just cannot tell if someone is actually listening to you. Well I personally have been there and I am here to give you some tips on how to show you are being a good listener. Listeners need to be able to actively engage in the conversation whether that’s proper eye contact or replying back with paraphrasing comments. Here are my best tips. 

First face the speaker and have proper eye contact. While you don’t want to be staring because this can be intimidating , you can look at them and try looking away every five seconds or so. You want to avoid looking down or crossing your arms as you can seem uninterested. 

Next, you need to be able to listen to cues. Lots of their clues can be nonverbal. Look at things like facial expression, body language, and gestures. For example, if they have a smile on their face, they are probably fast. 

Then, Do not plan what you are going to say. This may make you feel prepared but you are not actively listening when you are thinking of other things. Wait till they are done talking, then take a minute to gather up what you want to say. 

Next, Never interrupt. Even if you feel that it’s more important than what they are talking about, wait till they finish their thought to say your view. Interruptions will make you seem very self centered. If you do happen to interrupt. Make sure you say something like “what were you saying again” to get the conversation restarted. 

Also, don’t make it about you. Do not tell them what to do unless they ask you for your opinion. Instead of trying to one up them, let them have the whole floor. If you feel your input is needed try saying something like “ wanna hear my suggestion/past experience”.

Finally, try asking questions or paraphrasing what they said. If you need clarification, asking questions will show you were listening, you just don’t understand. Another thing you can try is adding positive comments or even repeating what they said so they know you heard them.

In conclusion, here are some of what I call the best tips out there on how to become a better listener. If you can find a way to do all of these, nobody should ever question if you are listening to them or not.